The Weasley Mallett
by PinkFairy727
Summary: Inspired by Timmy Mallet's Mallet. Tonks learns that sometimes not growing up is helpful when trying to combat boredom.


**Disclaimer: I did not create Harry Potter or anything HP related. I also did not create the Timmy Mallet Mallet, I just borrowed it ******

A national pandemic was sweeping the wizarding world. The Weasley twins had stumbled across the idea after seeing an episode of Timmy Mallet being broadcast in a television shop window, as they wandered down London High Street on their way to Diagon Alley. After looking at the muggle foam mallet the Weasley twins both agreed that the mallet could be a big seller in their shop, with a few minor tweaks of course.

The Weasley mallet came with a number of different features. Unlike the original, the Weasley mallet came in any customised colour floated of its own free will and was virtually indestructible. To comply with Wizarding Safety Laws, each mallet was charmed so no permanent damage could be inflicted on people, even if the mallet was being used by a six foot two quidditch beater.

The trend was slow to begin with but soon everybody had a Weasley mallet. From young children trying to eat their _my first Weasley mallet, _ to Hogwarts students charming their mallet to follow fellow student's they particularly disliked, to employers trying to persuade their employees to get back to work and stop eating biscuits.

Our first story takes us to a house in the heart of London, where two old friends were trying to combat their boredom.

Tonks had slept through most of the day due to working four night shifts in a row for the Order. After a combination of a rumbling tummy and a muttering house elf, she was persuaded to get out of bed. While walking down the cold damp corridor of 12 Grimauld Place, Tonks started pondering on how to best satisfy the now almost constant growling in her stomach. There were really only two options; persuade someone else to cook or attempt to cook herself, probably setting the kitchen alight in the process. Her thoughts were interrupted half way through this musing by a…

"Squeak"…"Squeak"…"Squeak"…

She froze, then-slowly-started edging towards the stairs. After a nasty incident involving two mice, a nine year old Tonks and one of her particularly nasty relatives, Tonks had developed a slight phobia of mice.

"Squeak"…"Squeak"…"Squeak"…

She slowly started descending the stairs, stopping every now and then to see if she could see where the noise was coming from. The squeaks got progressively louder as she went down the stairs, yet when she got onto the ground floor, just as she was standing underneath a particularly violent looking house elf head the squeaks stopped, - until…

"SQUEAK! – CRASH!"

It sounded like one of the mice had smashed a plate. She would recognise the sound of ancient, very valuable china breaking as she was personally responsible for destroying half of the Black Family China. Not that her cousin minded much, he seemed rather pleased every time one fell to the ground.

Tonks quickly realised where the noise was coming from. Judging from the increased noise levels now erupting from the kitchen the mice seemed to have declared war on each other. The squeaking was now louder and more frequent despite being punctured by the constant bangs and crashes. It sounded like the entire kitchen was being overturned.

Drawing her wand, Tonks decided she was going to make a formal complaint to the Current Head of the Auror office at the ministry. Why teach us _"Constant Vigilance" _when they don't teach us practical things, like how to get rid of a pair of killer mice. Hoping she wasn't about to come face to face with a couple of the worlds largest mice she kicked open the door. The scene in front of her caught her quite by surprise.

"Sirius…Remus…Where did you get those mallets from?"

Looking very sheepish at being caught red handed stood Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, each one with a Weasley Mallet in their hand. Remus was crouched on the floor having evidently had to take drastic evasive action to prevent Sirius' Flame Red Foam Mallet colliding with the side of his head. He didn't seem to be wasting the opportunity though as he looked about to take a swipe at Sirius' shins with his own Sky Blue Hammer.

Mess and destruction lay around them. Broken plates lay on the floor, wine goblets were strewn across the kitchen, a few of which looked like they had hit the wall on the way - and faired he worse for it and a pan of what looked like Molly Weasley's home made soup had been overturned and was now dripping onto the floor.

"Well, you see cousin, it's like this. I was bored, Remus was bored and the twins left a couple of their new mallets upstairs. So we decided to have a bit of fun".

"Yes that was until your cousin tried to hit his opponent when his back was turned, which was very cowardly of you Sirius and most unlike you. Scared I was going to beat you for once".

"How dare you! I happened to see a spider on your jumper and thought you would appreciate it if I removed it for you."

"Well you missed; you got me on the head!"

"Yeah and he went flying into the cupboard", Sirius couldn't suppress a gleeful smile at this point. "Remus retaliated but it was lucky for him that you came in then, I would have beaten you into a pulp".

"Sirius, we have know each other since we were eleven, and you haven't once beaten me into a pulp as you put it. If you couldn't beat me up when you were seventeen I doubt you could now".

"Is that a challenge, Moony old friend"?

"Yes Padfoot, I believe it is".

"Excellent…Let battle commence"

SQUEAK! CRASH!

Tonks left the kitchen laughing; she decided to tell the Twins what she had just witnessed knowing their new inventions were causing some laughter in the dark days of war.


End file.
